Archive for category Random Car Stuff
For $5,100, this Pinto lets you rock out with your cop out
The impending end of the road for Ford’s evergreen Crown Vic has police departments scrambling to buy up the last ones as well as looking for alternatives. Today’s Nice Price or Crack Pipe Pinto squad car is pretty alternative, but does is its price make it all that and a box of donuts?
My wife once bought a Nash Metropolitan from a guy whose ex-wife had used a baseball bat to bash the car’s roof in an attempt to get back at him for saying she looked fat in those jeans or something. Every time he went out to repair the damage, it made him so angry that he basically couldn’t work on the car, hence forcing the sale. Yesterday’s Celica All-Trac was all kinds of all apart, and due to the seller’s apparent apathy towards piecing it back together before doing the Craigslist shuffle, 72% of you voted it go to the Crack Pipe parts department.
Okay, I know it may seem like this is the Freaky Fords department as today’s candidate Â is the second theme Ford we’ve had this week. This one however, is so cool I thought you’d let it slide. Besides, that old maxim about variety being the spice of life? It’s baloney. The spice of life is really Red Curry. This car is much more than a decal and paint special, and in fact this 1978 Pinto Police Car is jaw dropping in its level of coptastic detail. The seller says it was built as part of the campaign of a candidate for sheriff. It still has woodwardforsheriff.com emblazoned across its front fenders even though the address is now one of the Internet’s many backwaters. That’s potentially the only questionable element of this amazing Pinto Patrol Car. As you would expect, it’s black and white and red all over – once you light up the gumball on the roof. There’s everything you’d expect a cop car to contain, from spotlights on the A-pillars to the mouth-watering Dunkin Donuts on the console, even down to a subtle POLICE INTERCEPTOR badge just above the driver’s side tail light.
In 1978, the Pinto’s drivetrain wasn’t up to snuff for police duty, and in fact burying the gas pedal would usually result in little more than a sputter of tepid exhaust noise that sounded eerily like the car was saying um, yeah, I’ll get back to you on that. Making this one less crappy and more coppy is a drivetrain out of an 1980 Thunderbird. That’s a 140-bhp V8 and C4 automatic to you civilians. Sure, 140 ponies won’t make this Pinto one-adam twelve, but since the V8′s already there, most of the hard work involved in filling its corral has already been done.
Inside this Copinto you’ll find more T-Bird in the guise of the red bucket seats. The original Pinto platforms were about as supportive as a hand-me-down jockstrap, so these have to be a step up. There’s also extra gauges, an Rayovac flashlight, and, the bane of escapees everywhere, a Motorola two-way. The cops aways used to say, you may outrun me, but you can’t outrun a Motorola. Fun fact- Motorola was started by William Lear – the business jet guy – and he named his daughter â€˜Shanda’! Â I defaecate you in the negative.
The whole car, inside and out looks to be in great shape, and the somewhat cheesy nod to Andy Griffith on the trunk lid could be easily covered simply by having a â€˜perp’ spreadeagled against the back of the car. Or, just leave it there and pretend you’ve got an APB out for â€˜Ain’t Bee. Oh and the seller’s name is Rocky, how cool is that?
Cop cars are usually something one tries to avoid being dumped into, however jumping on this John Law Pinto might be just the ticket. And while they say if you can’t do the time, don’t do the crime, this car’s $5,100 price tag doesn’t seem to be beyond the means of a public servant’s hourly wage. What do you think, is that a price that would make this Pinto patrol palatable? Or, would that leave you busted?
Stories about dogs trapped in hot cars don’t typically end well. Happily, this one’s different.
It was 90 degrees in Pennsylvania on the day that Max the chocolate Lab was accidentally locked in his owner’s car, the AP reports.
Donna Gardner of Allentown was running errands and forgot that 11-year-old Max was with her. After she got home and unloaded her packages, she accidentally left Max closed up in the car, USA Today’s Paw Print Post reports.
An hour later, Gardner heard a horn honk. She looked outside but didn’t see anything, and went back to what she was doing. Then the horn honked a second time. She peered outside again, and saw Max sitting in the driver’s seat. We don’t know what the dog was thinking or how he happened to sound the alarm, but we like to imagine Max laying on the horn to say “get me out of here!”
This Lab is an incredibly lucky dog. Heat stroke can occur quickly on a hot summer day, and dogs can suffer problems after just a few minutes in an overheated car. Let this accident serve as a reminder to be aware of where your pets are and to never leave your dog in a car, even if it’s parked in the shade.
We’re just glad this hot-dog story has a happy ending.
How to Buy a Used Car –
Thanx to Brett of artofmanliness.com for this post:
Benefits of Buying a Used Car
Avoiding depreciation. Itâ€™s common knowledge that once a new car drives off the lot, its value depreciates immediately. In the first two years of ownership, a new car can lose about 30% of its original value. And if you decide to sell your new car a few years after you buy it, youâ€™re going to lose a lot more money in the re-sale than if you had bought it used.
Price. If depreciation is your enemy when buying new, itâ€™s definitely your best bud when buying used. There isnâ€™t much difference between a brand new car and a two year old car. By buying a car brand new, youâ€™re basically paying 30% more than you need to. Thatâ€™s a big mark-up for that new car smell.
You can save even more money if you decide to buy older cars that have more miles on them. A buddy of mine back in college bought an â€˜86 Honda Accord hatchback for a couple hundred dollars. It was super ugly, but it drove just fine and lasted him a few years.
Bigger selection. Because used cars are cheaper than brand new cars, you effectively widen the selection of cars you can purchase. Instead of being merely a dream, luxury and sports cars enter the realm of possibility. I remember back in high school when my dad and I were shopping around for a car, I found a late model (this was back in the 90s) Mercedes Benz for about $5,000. I couldnâ€™t believe it!. Something had to be wrong with it. So, we took it for a test drive and to a mechanic. It was in tip top shape and drove like a dream. I ended up not buying the Benz. I was too punk rock for that. Instead I went with a 1992 Smurf Blue Chevy Cavalier. Now thatâ€™s punk rock. However, the experience did open my eyes to the fact that if you look hard enough, you can find some awesome cars for super cheap when you buy used.
Save money on insurance. If you buy a considerably older used car, you can save money on car insurance by only getting the state mandated minimum coverage. If your car is worth less than 10 times the premium on your insurance, itâ€™s probably not worth getting comprehensive coverage.
Buy from a Private Owner or a Dealership?
When you buy a used car, you have two possible sellers: a private owner or a dealership. Each has its advantages and disadvantages.
- Great deals. When you buy from a person who put an ad in the paper or on Autotrader.com, you can often find some really good deals. The best deals Iâ€™ve seen are at estate sales. You can find an older car with low mileage because the little old lady who owned the car only drove it to church and the grocery store. The car might smell like mothballs, but youâ€™ll enjoy the sweet scent of saved cash.
- Less intimidating negotiations. Negotiations can also be less intimidating because youâ€™re working with an average Joe and not some highly trained salesman who has to take your offer to a mysterious backroom boss to get it approved. Moreover, dealerships often try to throw in unneeded extras when youâ€™re buying from them- extra floor mats, XM Radio, etc. When you buy from an owner, theyâ€™re just selling you the car and nothing more. Makes the experience less irritating and cheaper.
- Complicated and annoying negotiations. Owners tend to be more attached to their cars than dealerships. To them, theyâ€™re not just selling a product, theyâ€™re selling a memory. These sorts of owners can be difficult to work with. Theyâ€™ll bust your balls in negotiation over a piece of crap Buick simply because it was their grandfatherâ€™s beloved car, and they hate to see it get in the hands of the â€œwrong person.â€
- No consumer protections. Private sales arenâ€™t generally covered by many statesâ€™ implied warranty laws. Implied warranties are unspoken and unwritten warranties that hold sellers responsible if the product they sold doesnâ€™t meet reasonable quality standards. When you buy from an owner, youâ€™re buying the car â€œas is,â€ meaning if the car has a problem (known or unknown by the seller) once you buy the car, it becomes your problem and the seller doesnâ€™t have to do anything to fix it. Moreover, private sales generally arenâ€™t covered by the FTC Used Car Rule which requires dealers to post a Buyerâ€™s Guide in used cars for sale.
- Certified Pre-Owned Program. A CPO vehicle undergoes rigorous mechanical and cosmetic inspection before itâ€™s put on sale. Moreover, CPO cars are often covered by a warranty beyond the original factory warranty which includes items like roadside assistance. Buying a CPO vehicle can give you the piece of mind that the car youâ€™re buying is in great condition and not a piece of crap. Even if you donâ€™t buy a certified pre-owned car, when you buy from a dealer, youâ€™re likely protected by your stateâ€™s consumer protection laws such as implied warranties or warranties of merchantability.
- Extra services. Dealers will often throw in extra services for free that a private seller canâ€™t. For example, when Kate and I bought our last car, before we drove it off the lot, the dealer cleaned and detailed it, performed a free oil change, and gave us a discount on our first service visit with them.
- Trade-ins. Dealers also take trade-ins which lowers the amount you have to pay in cash. Personal finance guru Dave Ramsey has a system set up that uses trade-ins on used cars to allow him to upgrade his vehicles every year or two without having to take out a loan on his car. Check it out. Itâ€™s pretty brilliant, if you ask me.
- Better negotiation experience (possibly). The negotiation experience can be a bit more even keeled with dealerships. Itâ€™s just a business transaction for them. You can avoid some of the emotional baggage you often find when negotiating with owners.
- Financing. If you donâ€™t have all the scratch on hand to buy a car, a dealership can often provide financing to help you make the purchase. And with the crum-dum economy, car manufacturers and dealerships are providing some pretty good deals if you decide to finance a car. Things like cash-back or zero interest can make financing a car a reasonable thing to do.
- Higher list prices. List prices at dealerships tend to be more expensive than when buying from an owner. However, you can usually negotiate this down easily.
- High-pressure negotiation. Negotiation with car salesman can be more high-pressured than when buying from owners. Selling is what these guys do for a living. They know every trick in the book and will unleash them on you without hesitation. When you step foot on the dealerâ€™s lot, gird up your loins, and prepare to play hardball.
- Up-sales. Dealers will try to up-sale you until your eyes bleed. Theyâ€™ll tell you that you need to add the extended warranty or that you need the new stereo. If youâ€™re not careful, you can drive out with a car that cost you $1,000 more than the original value simply because you let the add-ons creep in. However, you can turn the up-sale to your advantage by simply using it as leverages in negotiating. If the salesman presses for an extended bumper to bumper warranty, tell him youâ€™ll take it only if he lowers the price of the car a few hundred dollars.
- Financing. Financing is both an advantage and disadvantage. When you finance a car, you can end up paying thousands of dollars more for your car than if you had paid in cash. Dealers that finance to buyers directly want this extra cash, so theyâ€™ll often pressure car buyers to finance their new car. Save your money. Pay in cash.
Blue Book It!
When youâ€™ve decided on the type of car you want, start researching its value using the available tools online. Itâ€™s essential that you know how much a car is worth when you start negotiating.
Kelley Blue Book. Since 1926, Kelley Blue Book has been providing used car prices in their trademarked blue book.
Edmunds.com Edmunds.com will not only give you the manufacturerâ€™s suggested retail price (MSRP) for a vehicle, theyâ€™ll also check what others have paid for that particular car and give you an almost real time market price for it.
How to Inspect a Used Car
Alright. So youâ€™ve picked out a car you like thatâ€™s in your price range. Before you make an offer, you need to inspect it to ensure youâ€™re not buying a lemon. This is especially important if youâ€™re buying directly from the owner. Your best bet is to take the car to a mechanic you trust and let him look it over for any defects. If you donâ€™t have a mechanic handy, hereâ€™s how you can inspect a used car.
CarFax. Get one. CarFax is a comprehensive report of a vehicleâ€™s history. The report costs money to buy, but itâ€™s definitely worth it. The report can tell you if the car has sustained flood or frame damage, two things you want to steer clear of when purchasing a used car. All you need to run a CarFax report is the carâ€™s vehicle identification number (VIN) which can be found on the dashboard, just below the windshield on the driverâ€™s side or on the driverâ€™s side door, just below the locking mechanism.
Before you start the car, give it this initial inspection:
- Look underneath the car for rust. A car with a rusted frame isnâ€™t structurally sound. While a rusted frame can be salvaged, it can be expensive and time consuming. Choose another car.
- Check the tires and wheels. Look for even tire wear. Uneven wear in the front could mean the wheels or suspension are out of alignment.
- Inspect the exterior. Look for recent paint jobs as this may indicate body damage. You can sometimes detect paint jobs by finding over-spray on the rubber window molding. Tap along repainted areas and listen for a change in tone that reveals patchwork.
- Check the interior. You donâ€™t want a car thatâ€™s been torn to shreds on the inside. When inspecting the interior, check the odometer. If the car says it has low miles, but the wear and tear on the inside looks like itâ€™s been to hell and back, something might be up.
- Look under the hood. If you see rounded or stripped nuts and bolt heads, it could be an indication of shoddy repair work. While youâ€™re under there, check the spark plugs to see if theyâ€™re newer than the rest of the engine. If they are, thatâ€™s a sign the car has undergone regular maintenance and tune-up. Thatâ€™s a good thing.
- Kick a tire. Just for the hell of it.
- Drive it cold. A cold engine will tell you a lot more then a warm one will.
- Plan your route. You want your test drive route to be similar to your daily driving experience. Sure the car might drive nice on neighborhood streets, but how does she feel on the expressway? Mix up your route with freeways, city streets, rural roads, and parking lots.
- Turn the key. Does the car start easily? Does the engine make any funny noises while turning? Do you have to turn the key a lot to get the car started?
- Check controls. Test the wiper, lights, radio, and air conditioner controllers. There shouldnâ€™t be any noticeable drop in engine performance when you turn on the A/C.
- Check the transmission. If the car is an automatic transmission, it shouldnâ€™t make any loud clunking noises or hesitate when you switch gears. A manual transmission should shift smoothly. If you hear any grinding noise when shifting it could mean the synchronizers are bad. Also, check the clutch of a manual transmission by going slowly uphill in a higher than normal gear, like 3rd or 4th gear. If the clutch is good, the RPM will decrease and nearly stall. If the clutch is bad, the engine will rev but wonâ€™t go anywhere.
- Check the brakes. Find a road without any traffic and accelerate to about 50 mph. Hit the brakes hard. If the car pulls to the right or left, it may mean you have a loose brake caliper or thereâ€™s not enough hydraulic fluid on the side itâ€™s pulling to. Also, if you feel a shuddering when you brake, it could mean the brakes are warped. The brake pedal should also feel firm when you press down on it. If the brake sinks all the way to the floor, you may need to replace the master cylinder.
- Check the alignment. While driving, take your hands off the steering wheel for a moment and see if the car pulls in one direction. If it does, you might have some front-end alignment problems.
- Check for smoke. Youâ€™ll need a buddy for this test. While driving full speed, take your foot off the accelerator completely for a few seconds, and then floor it again. If you see a blue cloud of smoke, it means oil is burning and the car has internal engine problems that may require an engine overhaul.
- Take the car over a bumpy road. Check out how the car responds to the bumps. If you feel the bumps a lot, the shocks are probably worn.
- Listen. If you hear rattles, groans, and clunks, thatâ€™s a problem. Sure, the ailment might be repairable, but why waste your time or money?
Click here to find out the secrets of out-foxing a used car salesman. Yes, even YOU can beat them at their own game.
The snow has melted away in most areas, the cold is fading and spring is in the air. That means it’s time to clean up from the harsh winter months. Spring is the perfect time to clean up your car, getting it ready for the warmer seasons ahead. To help motivate you, here are some tips on what to tackle and how to do it.
Start by throwing out the trash and removing unneeded items. Then organize whatâ€™s left in the car by putting things away in the side pockets or compartments. After all is tidy, use a mild spray with a microfiber cloth to remove dust and grime off the dash and consoles.
After the inside is clean and dust-free, use a vacuum to remove debris and dirt from the seats, floor mats, rugs and trunk. If you have stains on the upholstery, a steam cleaner is a good option, but could be expensive. You can also use a spray-on carpet cleaner. For leather trim, use a leather cleaner. Next, clean the inside windows with glass cleaner, but spray directly on a cloth to avoid streaking.
Never wash or wax a car in direct sunlight or if the paint is hot to the touch. The sun can soften the paint and make it more susceptible to scratching. Use a dedicated car-wash soap designed for use on automotive paint. Apply the suds with a large, soft natural sponge or a lamb’s-wool mitt â€” making sure they are clean, so as to avoid potential scratches from embedded particles. Wash the car from the roof down. Use a separate sponge to clean the tires and wheels as they could be coated with debris that could harm the vehicleâ€™s finish. Donâ€™t let the car air dry when done â€” use a soft towel to dry.
Waxing a car can provide a good shine and some protection for the paint. Car waxes come in three forms: liquid, paste and spray.
Overall, we have found that paste waxes are easier to use than liquid waxes; liquid waxes cleaned the best; and spray waxes were easiest to use and left the fewest stains on plastic parts, but they didnâ€™t last as long as other waxes. With any wax you choose, we recommend you first try using it on an inconspicuous area such as a clean doorjamb. And regardless of how hard you work, how much you spend, or what longevity claims manufacturers make, don’t expect any wax to last all that long. All of the products we tested showed a significant loss of protection within about five weeks.
After the harsh winter, itâ€™s a good idea to check your windshield wipers for wear and tear. If they are leaving streaks of water, itâ€™s time to replace. However, before you replace, clean the blade first to see if that does the trick.
The winter months can also give your tires a beating. Inspect your tires to make sure they have proper tread. If you notice that your tires have less than 4/32-inch of tread left, then itâ€™s time to go shopping. In addition, check to make sure the tires are properly inflated. In our tests, we noticed a decrease in highway fuel efficiency when tires were underinflated by 10 psi. More important, underinflated tires compromise handling and braking, and wear faster.
Be part-man, part-machine and all awesome and buy the original Robocop Ford Taurus for around $19K.
The Volo Auto Museum outside of Chicago is putting the greatest Detroit P.D. car ever to roam the streets of Dallas, Texas (where most of the externals were shot) up for auction. When the producers of Robocop wanted to look to the future they chose the most forward-looking sedan to come out of Michigan in a generation: the 1986 Ford Taurus.
For some reason the car is listed as a 1988 Taurus even though we think the film used a 1986 MY Ford. Also, there are no exterior shots of the vehicle other than ones from the movie. And while there is a fake assault rifle, we’d maybe call before we plopped down the $18,998 bid for the Robocopcar thinking we’ll get any actual firearms. Otherwise, it’s a steal of a deal, right?
A new car has a value suggested by the manufacturer, the MSRP. How a car manufacturer decides on each cars’ MSRP is a discussion for another time. What we are focusing on is the post-purchase value. In %99 of new car purchases, as soon as the owner drives off the lot or dealership, the value of the car drops significantly. Depending on make and model, a car depreciates %18-%28 in one year. After five years, it will depreciate %50 – %70. Here is a graph:Â The dark blue line gives a low rate of depreciation, as you would expect with a reliable car such as a Honda Accord or a Toyota Camry. The red line shows a high depreciation rate, for example with a Ford Taurus or a Hyundai Sonata.
Now that we see the bad news, we can start with the good news. The good news is there are certain types of cars that either depreciate at a lower rate or do not depreciate at all. Some even appreciate. So, which cars fall into this category, you ask? Oh, ok, all of a sudden you want to know. I know how it is. It’s ok, you don’t need to explain to me. I don’t judge anyone.
Well-made Japanese cars such as Honda and Toyota are a good bet to stay valuable (depending on the condition) 5 or 10 years after the initial purchase. As the Graph will show you, these cars can be resold at a price you can’t anticipate from other manufacturers. So, coupled with the fact that any vehicle that is maintained properly (recurring oil changes,checking your belts, tires, coolants etc.) this should make for a decent return when sold.
When purchasing a car, the price you pay includesÂ all options and luxuriesÂ available in that pricing package.Â If an owner were to improve on those, on his own dime, the car would increase in value. There are thousands of enhancements that car enthusiasts, every day, use to customize their cars. I believe the kids refer to it as “pimping a car”. Not sure where that came from, but apparently it means automobile modification and customization. Besides the tinkering with the engine for a better drive, car buffs are installing modern, technological equipment inside to create a more enjoyable ride. These “pimped out” cars are not onlyÂ a better car at the end of it, but also have the added element of being unique. These 2 factors alone drive the price up, or at least maintain the original price after calculating in the wear and tear.
The foremost type of car that appreciates is an extremely rare car. When a car’s production has been stopped, say in 1968, then that vehicle would now, 41 years later,Â be considered a collector’s item. Appreciation is usually caused by demand exceeding supply. So, if a car is in high demand due to its innovative style, exclusive engine design, association with legendary car makers, or cult following, and the supply is limited, logic would dictate that the value of this particular vehicle would spike. Some examples of this scenario would be some classic Ferraris, 1960s’ Muscle Cars, Rolls Royces, Ford Escort RS Cosworth,Â and the Aston Martin DB5 of James Bond fame.
Other cars that were found to have a low depreciation rates and to maintain value well: BMW Z8, Mercedes Benz C class , Mini Cooper, Porsche 911, Porsche Boxster, Lexus SC430, Acura TL, Honda S2000, Dodge Viper, Lexus GS300, Jaguar S Type, Volvo S40, Volvo S80, and the Audi S4.
Do you know what we have learned through this journey? What was the lesson we took out from this discussion? Actually we’re not sure but, we are going out right now to get a dodge viper.
Disclaimer: This is only if you lost your keys. It is illegal to hotwire a car that is not yours. We, here at Junk Car Nation, do not condone any drunken joyrides with stolen vehicles. Unless you call us first.
1. Get your stuff together: You’re gonna need 1 flathead screwdriver with an insulated handle, 1 cordless drill and a small drill bit.
2. Time to get down and dirty: There is a flap at the end of the keyhole. Set the drill on the keyhole about 2/3 of the way up and drill in about the length of a key. This will destroy your lock pins and make the key switch able to be turned on and off without a key. Every pin has 2 sections, followed by a spring, so drill it more than once, removing the drill each time to allow the bits of the lock inside to fall into place.
3. The hard part is over: Insert the screwdriver in the keyhole the same way you would put your key in.Â Since the pins are already broken, the screwdriver need not go in very deep.
4. Look out for COPS: Now,Â just turn it and presto! Congratulations! You have just committed a felony. If it is indeed your car, you should probably know that this method of hotwiring will destroy your key switch and thus allowÂ anyone with a screwdriver toÂ steal your car. Good times.
OR YOU CAN JUST USE YOUR CELL PHONE!
OMG, OMG, OMG!
Can you tell how excited I am right now? My editor has green-lighted an article on a subject most dear to my heart: Despicable, selfish, abhorrent, obnoxious, but most importantly, stupid drivers/driving.
Nothing grinds my gears, nothing revs my engine, nothing toots my horn… OK, I’ll stop now… than this sensitive topic. I say sensitive because the moronic drivers that we ridicule and lambaste here could very well beÂ your mother, sister, father, or even you. It could be anyone, is what I’m saying. So, the intention of this post is to not only bring to light the many failures of simple driving in our society, and to unabashedly rip their self-respect to shreds like a rabid dog, but to also offer a hand in correcting our shortcomings on the road. We’re caring rabid dogs. We can laugh all we want, but ultimately the quality of driving on the roads of the world can use a major upgrade.
Here are someÂ videos that will illustrate the extent of idiocy that truly exists. The clips will surely bring you to smiles, or tears, depending on how passionate you are about driving (as we are).
1. First, we’ll start off with a quick video of a woman (of course) that does not seem to understand the idea of driving in straight line.
Ok, now that you saw that and wondered what that would look like from the guy downstairs’ perspective (I,m sure he crapped his pants). We can do a video breakdown and see where she went wrong:
- She stepped into her car that morning. That was the first mistake.
- The next mistake was actually not the drivers’. The mechanic himself should have pulled it in. When you see a driver that you might think would have trouble with extremely easy maneuvering, you should just tell her to get out and do it yourself. That would have saved him a headache. I’m sure the owner quickly made that the new policy.
- Her second mistake was a very simple error but it cannot be said enough how important it is to not overlook this detail. She did not roll down her window.Â Any time an intelligent safe driver backs in to a tight area or pulls in to a small parking spot using a spotter, he/she must ALWAYS roll down the window to hear the spotter. It is not enough to just use the mirrors and to be looking at his hand waving around.
- The third mistake, and most egregious of them all, was obviously not aligning the car correctly. This comes fromÂ not realizing the elementary principle ofÂ “THE DRIVERS’ SEAT IS NOT IN THE FREAKIN’ MIDDLE OF THE CAR”. Ma’am, it is on the left side of the car. The passenger seat is on the right. So the middle of the car would be your armrest and radio console. Ever see a car on the highway literally driving on the line to right of it. That is because they are more than likely a new driver and have not gotten used the symmetry, alignment, and size of the vehicle. While a few weeks of this is understandable, why is it that older more experienced drivers have trouble with this? Anyway, one small tip would be to focus on the line on the left. So, when pulling up to a spot or driving on a highway you should get used to driving alongside the left line, almost perpendicular. This will naturally straighten out the vehicle.
That, was just one moron out of millions. We can obviously be here for months on every video or story but i tried to choose ones that are both funny and common. This way, even if one person learns something and makes the road a safer, more efficient drive for someone behind them, it would all be worth it.
Next, we have for a woman (of course) that doesn’t understand the uncomplicated concept of gas pump length:
I didn’t think people could be that stupid either.
I know what you are thinking. This technically does not have anything to do with driving, but it’s car-related and stupid-related, so it goes in. This woman is either the thickest person in the history of thick people or she was just having an epically bad day. Now lets break this foolishness down:
- To me, she made just 2 mistakes, but those 1 of those mistakes are rarely found in human society. First mistake was not knowing which side her tank is on. That is obviously a mistake that happens all the time, but her actions indicate it’s probably not the first time this happened.
- The second mistake is the much more severe of the two, but, poor woman, much harder to remember. IF THE TANK IS ON THE OTHER SIDEÂ WHEN YOU GET OUT OF YOUR CAR TO FILL UP, TURN YOUR FREAKIN CAR AROUND!!! i mean come on are you serious!!??!! really!! really!!THAT was the decision youÂ made? not oh, i should probably flip around to the other side so i can fill up like a sane, mentally sound, reasonable person, no, no instead i’ll try and stretch the g-ddamn hose till it either snaps off orÂ slingshots me back like a rag-doll (which is, of course what ended up happening- the god of comedy blessed us that day- thank you chris farley, thank you). She deserved it.
The next one is another woman (this is not intentional, I swear, it’s just that most of the bad driver videos on youtube are women, ok, actually all of the videos are women but who’s counting) trying her darndest to pull out of a spot.
I will start the commentary off by asking a question. How many times have you been sitting idling (and wasting gas at the same time), waiting for imbeciles to try to maneuver out of a spot that could fit the entire Nutty Professor family reunion? Personally, too many to count. If you are not able to exit a space as simple as this YOU DO NOT DESERVE A DRIVERS LICENSE. It is simply not fair to fellow drivers. Take a half hour with someone who knows how to drive and practice, ask for tips, and figure it out. It is so easy to adjust once you learn. Please! for the sake of everything that is road-worthy. We beg you. We plead to you. I have actual tears rolling down my face now. Here’s the breakdown:
- She starts off easing out slowly which is good, but she clearly has no feel for the length and width of her car. We mentioned this earlier, but we see now how important it is. As she clears the car to her left, giving her ample room to cut the wheel all the way to the right, which would have put her in a better position for the second wheel cut-back to the left. Instead she stays basically straight and has now put herself in a horrible position.
- Where she stands now, miraculously she stillÂ has a chance to recover and drive off with two turns of the wheel, but no. She once again shows us how incompetent she is by leaving about four feet behind her, between the car and the wall. She even sticks her head out of the window to see with her own eyes. Yet STILL doesn’t reverse the two or three feet she needs to complete the exit.
- The next move is the move that separates the bad driver from the monumentally brutal drivers. Instead of getting out of her car to inspect the space behind her (this option may sound tedious to some, but the benefit is twofold: 1- she would have ultimately gotten out faster this way as opposed to the option she eventually chose which took almost 3 minutes 2- It would have given her an idea of what 4 feet looks like from theÂ point of view of the drivers seat, depth perception is clearly not her strong suit) or she could have cut left and right a few times and been on her merry way. Instead, this woman decides to pull back into her spot and proceeds toÂ attempt THE SAME FREAKING MANEUVER ON THE OTHER SIDE. How dumb is this person? if a good samaritan hadnt walked passed and helped her out she could have been there for days. Search parties would have been sent out. Local news stations would have run stories on the missing woman who has a husband and two small children back home wishing, just praying that their beloved mommy comes home. Starvation and dehydration would have set in. Cell phone batteries weening out on her. There could have been a massive blizzard and frost bite would be a major concern. And all that time this poor helpless woman would be sticking her head out of her g-d forsaken window trying to survive the horror that is pulling out of a spot.
Whew! I will try and pace myself. At this rate, I’ll have a seizure.
To finish, and to use up any energy i have left, here are some random driving “crimes” that are proven to be the direct cause of baldness and graying hair.
- Crime: Driver waiting to make a left turn sitting at an intersection of a two way street. Just move your ass up 3 feet so people can pass. This frustrates me to no end due to high level of selfishness. If the driver took 4 seconds to think of the people behind him,Â he would not be in the spot he is in. It’s all due to laziness. Because of the extra rotation needed when making a sharper turn. Drivers will stay back, so when they do eventually make that turn it will be with a half rotation of the wheel.Â Trust me, that is the reason and that is sick.Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â
- Crime: DWT – Driving While Texting. If the light is green and a texter is the lead car, chances are you will not catch that light. Since they are texting something extremely important like they forgot to feed “Wibbles” the cat.Â The chronic breakers will put you in your grave earlier than you would like.
- Crime: Getting on a highway at 40 mph . There are hundreds upon hundreds of feet of road specifically designed for drivers to speed up to the flow of traffic upon entering a highway. WHY DO PEOPLE NOT KNOW THIS? WHY DO PEOPLE NOT CARE? WHY DO PEOPLE LIKE RUINING THE ENTIRE FLOW OF THE DRIVERS BEHIND THEMÂ ON THE ENTRANCE RAMP NOT TO MENTION, MORE IMPORTANTLY, THE FLOW OF THE RIGHT LANE? WWWWHHHHYYY?
- Crime: Lost drivers or drivers looking for a spot or drivers looking for an address with a long line of cars behind them. Readers might be asking thinking – “Oh what’s the rush? big deal, so you have to wait an extra minute” . Duly noted, of course it’s not a big deal, but for the love of over-analyzation, drivers are the same as drunkards. The true inner-self of an individual surfaces. When one is drunk their speech filter and emotional guard drop to reveal the “real”Â in them. Same with drivers. If you are a moron deep down, you will be a moronic driver. If you are a “nice” person in a bank or supermarket, but really don’t care in the slightest about fellow human beings, then you will be the type of driver that looks for an address while cruising at 7 mph with a motorcade of vehicles behind you.
- Crime: Not Signaling. Are drivers that thoughtless and inconsiderate? Honestly, this offense is one the most mind-boggling of them all. If you factor in the amount of time it takes to flick the signal up or down and the benefit derived from a successful signaling , it results in the most selfish act man has ever known. Hear me out. When you are driving on a two lane street and you are in the left lane approaching an intersection and the driver in front of you, all of a sudden, stops in the middle of the intersection, apparently for no reason, because of course he is not indicating, so, how in the hell would anybody know what he is thinking? so, now all the cars are zipping passed you in the right lane and you are sitting there stuck in the middle of the intersection just waiting for absolutely no reason becauseÂ if his signal had been on 200 feet before the upcoming turn like a normal person you would have eased into the right lane and have been long gone by now but no this wonderful, caring, sweetheart of a guy runs the show and you can do absolutely nothing about it. This is one small example. Since I started driving about 10 years ago, I have made a mental note every single time a driver didn’t signal when they were supposed to. The last count was 14,856,237.
- Crime: Drivers who short-stop when the light is yellow.Â Â Slow and stupid drivers cause accidents, although they are seldom the ones killed or cited. Slow and stupid drivers think they will get a massive ticket if they go through a yellow light so they slam on the brakes (I’m not talking about when its yellow and by the time you pass thru it willÂ be red, i’m talking about when its green and it turns yellow as the car ahead of you is 15 feet from the intersection). They think it is safer to slam on the brakes at a yellow because… i’m not sure why.Â The chances of getting pulled over going through a yellow light are %0.053, the chances of getting your ass slammed from behind is %43.891. I’m not good at math, so please tell me what that means.
- The Final and Most Selfish, Narrow-Minded, Reprehensible, Sickening,Â Careless, Despicable, Heedless, Mindless, Thoughtless, Inconsiderate Driving Crime is: Driving at or under the speed limit in the left lane. What in G-D’s name are you doing in the left lane going 50mph. This act is one i have been analyzing for years. It is an act i will never truly comprehend. Murder i can understand. Drug-trafficking i can fathom. Grand Theft Auto i can explain.Â Sexual Assault I can get the idea. Driving slow in the left lane, i will never, ever even come close to wrapping my head around. I have tried, oh how i have tried, but to get into the minds of people who areÂ braindead is close to impossible. The reasons i have come up with so far, are # 1: either the perp is so clueless about one of the most well-known, highly necessary rules of the road that to them a freeway is just that. You are free to do whatever you want, whenever you want, at a speed you want to do it. Or #2: The offender had vaguely heard of such a rule years back when they were studying for their learners’ permit but are so self-centered it doesn’t even enter their mind that maybe, just maybe, they are doing something wrong. No, that can’t be. Its a total coincidence that every car on the highway is passing them on their right side and giving them the finger. Must be a mean-spirited area of the state. Or #3: They are so old that at one point or another in their lifetime they actually did know of this rule, but now, being 98 yrs old,Â this little tidbit of information has gone to wayside along with their teeth, hearing, and kindness. ( i hate bashing old people, but seriously,Â Mildred, stay in the right lane)
Here is one more video of someone that warrants a beating.
Quick story, compliments of a JunkCarNation Contributor:Â “Last winter, I saw a car with about three feet of snow on the top. The car came to a stop at a red light, and about 200 pounds of snow slid off the top and covered the windshield. The lady had to get out, in the middle of a busy four-lane street to shovel snow off her windshield. I think that was stupid (and funny) as can be.”
I am medically dehydrated and legitimately exhausted. There is blood coming out of my finger nails. I need a break
Lastly, Cops do dumb stuff too
Here at Junk Car Nation, it’s no secret that we love our cars. The leather, the burning rubber from the tires, the little red tree hanging from the rear-view mirror, the tuna sandwich you realized you left in your car last week. And those are just the smells.
Driving a car utilizes all 5 senses and even a sixth if your a good driver ( ” i see dumb people – dumb people driving aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh”). Today we are not celebrating the feel of the grip of theÂ steering wheel or the sound of the engine as you pass an old lady in the left lane driving 40 mph (the sound of you cursing the life of that driver, and then seeing how old she was, then immediately feeling guilty also counts). No, today we are observing some statistics and facts regarding anything remotely related to cars. Just random info we think might possibly save your life one day or win you a million dollars on the final question of “Who wants be a millionaire”. You never know. You’ll thank us.
1. Four of the top five appreciating used cars had S in their names: Jaguar S Type, Volvo S40, Volvo S80, and Audi S4.
2. Overall in 2003, there were 3.7 billion hours of travel delay and 2.3 billion gallons of wasted fuel for a total cost of more than $63 billion.
3. There were approximately 6.4 million auto accidents in the United States in 2005. The financial cost of these crashes is more than $230 Billion dollars. 2.9 million people were injured and 42,636 people killed. About 115 people die every day in vehicle crashes in the United States — one death every 13 minutes. (I know, why can’t they update these stats once in awhile?)
4. The fastest production car in the world is the 257mph SSC Ultimate Aero. When it broke the world speed record, it was driven by a 71-year-old called Chuck Bigelow.
5.The fastest non-jet powered car is the wheel-driven Vesco Turbinator, which was driven by Don Vesco at 458mph on the Bonneville Salt Flats on October 18 2001.
6. The fastest car of all time is the jet-powered Thrust SSC, driven by Wing Commander Any Green, which reached speeds of 763mph on the Bonneville Salt Flats in Utah, USA on October 15 1997.
7. The first ever land speed record was set on December 18 1898, when French race car driver reached a speed of 39.23mph in an electric car.
8. The Porsche 911 was originally designated as the ‘Porsche 901′ (901 being its internal project number). Peugeot protested on the grounds that they owned the trademark to all car names formed by three numbers with a zero in the middle. So, before production started, the new Porsche had its name changed to 911. It went on sale in 1964.
9. The Rolls Royce hood ornament is called the Spirit of Ecstacy.
10. A Rolls-Royce Phantomâ€™s leather interior is made from 15 different hides.
11. The Bugatti Veyron takes ten seconds to stop from its top speed of 253mph.
12. The paint on a Ferrari F40 is so thin you can see the carbon fibre weave through it. More layers would have added undesirable weight.
13. Ferrari makes a maximum of 14 cars a day.
14. The first car was the three-wheeled Benz Patent Motorwagen, built in 1885.
15. The best-selling car of all time is the Toyota Corolla.
16. In 2007 Toyota became the worldâ€™s biggest car manufacturer, taking over from US giants General Motors.
17. If a car is hit by lightning its occupants will generally be safe. The Faraday effect (discovered by Michael Faraday in 1845) causes the electricity to dissipate around the car’s metal frame.
18.The engine bay of a McLaren F1 road car (pictured right) is gold plated because itâ€™s the best material for reflecting heat.
19. Game designer Kazunori Yamauchi, the man behind Gran Turismo, helped develop the Nissan GT-R.
20. The first traffic lights were installed in Cleveland, Ohio in 1914.
21. The onboard computer in a typical modern car is more powerful than the one used to send astronauts to the moon in the 1960s and 1970s.
22. The fastest time for removing a car engine, and replacing it, is 42 seconds for a Ford Escort, on 21 November 1985.
23. Porsche is the worldâ€™s most profitable car manufacturer.
24. The world’s widest road is widely believed to be the Monumental Axis in Brazil and that it fits 160 cars side by side. This is untrue, as the road consists of two avenues with six lanes on either side; a total of twelve lanes. However, it was in the Guinness Book of Records as having the widest median of a divided highway in the world.
25. The worldâ€™s longest car is the 100 foot limousine built by Jay Ohrberg of Burbank, California. The car features a king-size waterbed and a swimming pool, complete with diving board, and a helicopter landing pad.
26. The worldâ€™s lowest street-legal car is the 19 inch-tall â€˜Flatmobileâ€™, built by Perry Watkins from Buckinghamshire. The record was previously held by Andy Saunders, whose car â€˜Flat Outâ€™ stands 21.5 inches off the ground.
27. On August 20 2004, 21 people squeezed into a Mini Cooper in Athens, Greece, setting a new world record.
28. The most expensive car sold at auction was the 1961 Ferrari 250 GT SWB California Spyder for $10,894,900.
29. In 1916, 55 per cent of the cars in the world were Model T Fords.
30. The U.S. uses about half of the world’s gasoline.
31. Traffic congestion wastes three billion gallons of gas a year.
32. U.S. aircraft used 19,704 gallons of fuel and traveled 848 billion passenger miles in June 2007 to May 2008, which works out to 43 pMPG.
33. In the 1960′s, 90% of children who lived within a mile of their school walked or biked to school. Today? Only 31% do so.